Honestly, this is the worst book I have ever read. Its possible this is the worst book ever written. 

But, just like Sharknado and Troll 2, once something travels into the category of horrible, it loops back around and becomes incredible. 

Rough and Ready is a smut book written by a comically old woman, who, when you look at her picture in the back of the book, stares at you with her grandmotherly eyes and her innocent smile.


You may have heard of this book. Yes, indeed, a few years ago the internet exploded with the dramatic reading seen below.

Unfortunately, this particular, hilarious selection is not contained in “Rough and Ready. 

Yes, the writers of this smutty section used the names of the characters and nothing else. Bummer.


The real Rough and Ready is about a Viking, Torolf, who is magically timetraveled to the future and joins “Seal Team Six.If youre laughing, you shouldnt be; this is serious.


Torolf, accompanied by his seal team, somehow travels back to his original Viking time (a reckless misuse of taxpayer dollars, if I may say so myself) and meets up with his childhood sweetheart. They are under attack from a neighboring town and must defend the castle. They travel back and forth through time many times, but honestly, I dont remember the plot too well (my friends and I skimmed over the plot and lingered over the smut).


Although the book does not contain the above reading, there are a few sections that end with my friends and me on the floor, clutching our stomachs with laughter. About 15 girls, clad in catholic uniforms, skirts rolled up to the midthigh, passed it around and did dramatic readings, all while trying to avoid the deans. We would pile into the center of the common room, pulling bean bag chairs, sofa cushions, blankets, and anything else we could find or steal. It ended up being one huge, messy pig pile of girls and hair. Laying on our stomachs, stepping on each other’s hair, kneeling on hands, we walked away from that free period knowing each other a little better than we did before.


It is not a book to be read alone. Additionally, after spending 30 cents (plus shipping) on the book, I realized that you could just as easily find it online if you are savvy. Having the print copy was useful, as I went to a high school that blocked sites in which the word boob was used (oh no! I guess no one in high school is reading this! What ever will I do?). But for sleepovers and birthday parties, the online version will do.

Copyright 2015 Marielle Lyons

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